did I get a Ph.D. for this?

On Sunday a very nice lady, probably around 70, asked me if there are any “mature single women” at my Thursday Evening Bible Class.  She said she was asking for her brother, who apparently would like to meet somebody.  I’m keeping this in mind as I prepare for tonight’s class, as it probably doesn’t matter how good my content is, at least some of the students (I’m looking at you, grandpa) will be here for ulterior motives.  I knew God had a purpose in sending me to graduate school, and now that I know what it is, I must say that I am feeling a bit disappointed.

If you’re here in GR and would like a free half-class of seminary education, or perhaps you are looking for a Christian hook-up afterwards (and by Christian I mean what anyone not named Rick Pitino would do in Applebee’s), then come to the seminary tonight at 7:30.  We’ll open the bar at 8:30, and you can stay as late as you can stay awake.  Just stay off our lawn.






4 responses to “did I get a Ph.D. for this?”

  1. You know, I thought I saw some individuals eyeballing each other during class.

    And I also noticed you had an extra sparkle in your eyes, as if you were singing “Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match…” in your head.

  2. Jonathan Shelley


    As long as you’re in matchmaker mode, I have a good friend who is looking for a nice Christian girl, mid- to late-twenties.

  3. mikewittmer


    I believe your wife has access to the Internet, so please keep your “friend” out of this conversation!

  4. I kind of liked Kevin DeYoung’s idea from Elizabeth Elliot… Line up guys on one side, gals on the other side.. “one, one, two, two…”

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