Mike Wittmer

Category: miscellaneous

  • summer thoughts

    1. I was making small talk with the fellow behind me as we waited for the service to start at the prison on Sunday. I mentioned that I like the taste of strawberries. He replied, “I like the taste of freedom.” Well, that was awkward. 2. One of the best feelings in the world is…

  • viral marketing

    I do not condone this transparent attempt to promote my book and blog. The blurriness of the first word makes me think the artist was drunk, but you probably guessed that already.

  • God still reigns

    I was driving home from Indy yesterday afternoon, the unlikely site of LeBron’s imminent Waterloo, and I found the game on ESPN radio. I was fairly pleased when the Pacers jumped out to a 9-0 lead, and according to the announcers, the Heat were coming apart. Wade looked sour and LeBron was shouting at Mario Chalmers,…

  • the bottom of the blooper barrel

    I hope enough time has passed for me to include this blooper. When my university decided to issue laptops to every student, it explained its rationale in the Cornerstone magazine. The article said that a laptop computer “is a tool that has become so commonplace here at the end of the Twentieth Century, with the…

  • wait, there’s more!

    The paper which first gave me the idea to accumulate bloopers was written by a student who went on to earn his Ph.D. and is now on the receiving end of such fun. His paper was on Anselm’s ontological argument for God’s existence, which states that the greatest possible being must exist, otherwise he wouldn’t…

  • more bloopers

    Yesterday a friend noted that I often talk about the miserable futility of Cleveland sports on this blog. After a half century of continuous losing in three sports—a draught only broken last year when a girl from Cleveland won the National Spelling Bee—the worst is still to come. Cleveland sports fans will finally hit bottom…

  • student bloopers

    I spent all of yesterday deciphering the hand writing on my students’ exams. It was worth it, for I happened upon this gem: “God allows evil to exist although He can easily defeat goodness.” Well sure, but why would he want to? On the other hand, this does explain the success rate of Cleveland sports.…

  • leap day

    In fifth century Ireland, women grew tired of waiting on their slacker men to propose marriage. St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick, who said that “single women could put a ring on it” every leap day. That is not a direct quote, but it captures the gist of his capitulation. Single women from Bridget to…

  • school daze

    Egyptian monks called sloth the “noonday demon,” for the heat of the sun and their growling stomachs (dinner was at three) distracted them from their intellectual tasks. I am going to nominate a northern substitute. The new sloth is the “five o’clock shadow,” for that is pretty much when the sun goes down in December,…

  • a very small Christmas miracle

    Someone is giving away free copies of Don’t Stop Believing, and they wanted me to tell you about it. If you click here you can enter the giveaway promotion, which ends tomorrow at noon. This book is perfect for regifting, as long as you don’t scribble all over the margins, so think of this as…